How Not to Get on at Work
Those of us who want to progress in our career and rise up the ladder, are aware that we need to get noticed at work, for all the right reasons. But how do we achieve this?
It’s easy to stand out at work for the wrong reasons and here are ten ways to sabotage yourself at work.
1. Always Be Late
Makes sure that you arrive late every morning. This will definitely get you noticed and will infuriate your boss and colleagues.
2. Dress Badly
Always look scruffy when you arrive at work. Faded jeans and a saggy T shirt work well for this, or a shapeless cardigan over a voluminous skirt. Being unprofessionally dressed is an excellent way to draw attention to yourself!
3. Be Unfriendly
Never say good morning to anyone when you arrive at work, ask anyone how their weekend was, or engage with anyone in a friendly manner. This will definitely make an impression on people.
4. Clock Watch
Always keep an eye on the time so that there’s no danger of you accidentally working over time. If you don’t get paid for it then why would you want to work extra hours, just because a project is urgent? So don’t forget, as soon as the clock signals the end of your working day, get up and leave.
5. Criticize Your Boss/Company
This is a great way to get noticed at work. You can criticize your company in the office to your colleagues, whilst doing it to as many senior staff as possible is particularly effective. Or there is social media, where slagging off your employer can be enjoyed by hundreds of people and is bound to make your boss sit up!
6. Look Bored
Always look bored during meetings, or training sessions. Slumping in your chair with an expression of world-weary disdain on your face, or a vacant stare, will usually work wonders.
7. Take Time Off
Take a lot of days off for sickness, family reasons, etc. When your desk or office is empty people will always notice and ask where you are, so this is a really good way to stand out.
8. Get Drunk at the Office Party
I highly recommend this, particularly if you can do it in front of all the senior management team. Flirt with as many different people of the opposite sex as possible, fall over a few times, and if you can manage it, be sick. People who do this never fail to get talked about!
9. Skip Your Daily Shower
Missing a few baths or showers will give you a certain cachet at work. People may not want to stand too close to you, but it will definitely make you an object of discussion, usually when you’re not in earshot.
10. Be Rude to Customers
Always be rude to customers and suppliers. They are always ringing up with some problem or other, or asking pointless questions. The best way to deal with them is to be abrupt and tell them that you just can’t help them. Once a few complaints come in then you will definitely become a blip in your boss’s radar.
The Final Step
So there you have it, how to get noticed at work. These tactics should sabotage any chance of you getting promoted. And may even get you fired if you employ them with enough enthusiasm. On the other hand, if you want to get noticed for all the right reasons, you could just do the opposite!